I appreciate those ha-ha moments when something finally makes sense. Life is like a great big puzzle and we are living one piece at a time. Some pieces just seem to hang out there forever while we study our lives, trying to figure out where they belong in the story. Well this Christmas a key piece to my puzzle fell into place. I have wondered for years how pain and tears became such a major part or my story. There was a Christmas movie I watched when I was young that had such a massive affect on my life that I haven’t been able to watch it again until this year. I actually found it a couple years ago in reprint. It has been in the drawer with the plastic on every since. When I see it I immediately get this feeling of dread and anguish, but all I can remember is that it was a sad movie. Well, I finally watched it this year.
The name of the movie is “The Littlest Angel.” It stars Johnny Whitaker, Jody from the television show “Family Affair” and Fred Gwynne as guardian angel Patience, more commonly known as Herman Munster. Michael, the Littlest Angel, dies unexpectedly and is shown the joy of Heaven by Patience. What I remember from my childhood was that it was the first time I was introduced to a child dying and leaving his parents. It took years to digest what that would feel like. I guess I should mention that on the Gallop scale of strengths empathy is my number one. For years I worked through how the boy would feel to suddenly be all alone without his parents. Then I thought about how parents feel when they loose a child. If I remember right I was somewhere between 8 and 10 years old at the time.
The first time I heard God’s voice I was twelve. I had been experiencing a number of deaths among my friends and I was mad at God for taking them. I understood how their parents felt to loose their children and how scared my friends were to be dead. God spoke to me and told me that He wanted me to help my friends let go and come to Him. As I connected to my friends in prayer I felt them let go, and glide into the arms of our savior. You see during those years of exploring the emotions of death I discovered how much God loves us. You see He knew the plan. He knew how much it would hurt to watch His child suffer and be tortured, then die. He knew what Jesus would experience, yet He loves us so much that He set the plan in motion anyway. As we celebrate Christmas I am reminded that along with the gift of salvation we also received the gift of tears. God knows our pain because He choose to suffer for us. I know God’s tears because I have shed them, but I also know His love.
So, to all the parents whose children have left this earth too soon: Alisha, Amy, Jeff, Nina, and Rachel, the children of Red Lake, Columbine, and Newtown God knows your pain, you are not alone. God weeps with all the parents as He holds your children tightly in His arms.
