Humbled to Fast

As we come to the end of the Lenten fast, I hear a lot of folks rejoicing and looking forward to enjoying what they gave up.  Now, I’ve never been good at fasting, but I did experience a fast a few years ago, which happened to be during Lent that changed my life forever. 

I had a 35 year addiction to caffeine that started when I was in high school.  At first it was just Cokes, and then in college I added caffeine pills.  I felt pretty good about myself because all my study friends who started caffeine pills advanced to speed the next year and I didn’t.  I did have a few scares when I took more than I should have, usually during finals week.  When I became a new mom and I was trying to work 60-70 hours a week, keep my house clean, and play with our children every moment they were awake, caffeine pills were the only way I could survive.  I tried to cut back, especially as the damage grew, but all the non-malignant tumors, the stomach ulcers, and the heart murmur, not to mention the constant weight gain just didn’t stand up to my addiction. 

So when I was at work one day, typing on my computer, and I heard God say “it’s time to quit caffeine” I was a bit surprised.  I had tried many times before, but it was because I thought it was a good idea, now God was telling me I had to.  It was really hard.  It took a month and a half before the headaches stopped; I remember the day well.  What I learned about fasting is when you pick something that really matters, you will need to find a substitute.  I could have starting drinking more juice, ones high in sugar could have given me a similar energy boost, but what I choose was God.  When I got to work in the morning and I needed a Coke to wake up and start the day I prayed and drank my water.  When I sat down for lunch and my daily energy drink, I prayed instead and drank my water.  In the middle of the afternoon when I reached for a caffeine pill and my Coke to drink it down, instead I prayed and drank my water.  When I drove by McDonalds on my way home and saw their sign for a $1 large Coke, filled with ice, I prayed (with my eyes open).  I prayed for patience, strength, endurance, energy, faith, my brokenness, my need, my headache, and the list goes on.  As I realized I wouldn’t make it through without God’s help, I humbled myself and was blessed over and over again.  God also put a song on my heart, “I Will Rise” by Chris Tomlin.  Every time I needed caffeine I would hear this song and know I could make it through this.  God knew that I had to.

Two months after giving up caffeine I was diagnosed with diverticulitis with the strong possibility of colon cancer.  Not only was I able to bear the pain, because I no longer was using caffeine, but I had learned to put all of my faith in God.  He had been there through my fasting and if I could get through that I would be able to get through anything.  I also knew that He wanted me to go on the mission trip, so I knew it would all be ok in the end.  I was in incredible pain, I bled 24 hours a day for three weeks, yet I was able to go to work and function.  I should have bled to death, but instead I asked God to heal me, all of me, everything and I believed He could.  I knew the mighty power of God and to Him this was nothing.  A week before the mission trip I received an emergency colonoscopy.  The doctor found no signs of bleeding and no sign that I ever had diverticulitis.  He found a small pulp that looked like it had never bled. 

Our God can heal all wounds!  He is the almighty God who walks with us, leads us, holds us up when we are weak, and prepares us for what is coming.  Every time I look at my water bottle I am reminded of what we went through together, how He was there for me and helped me through.  If you are far from God and wanting to get closer, try fasting from something that you feel brings you life, so that you can learn to rely on the one who truly brings you life and life abundantly!