Standing in Still Waters

It’s time to get real and define what it means to be a Christian. There are too many people sitting in church missing the boat. Christianity is an action verb. You are a Christian if you are craving to know Christ and to be more like him. This means you are studying God’s word daily, looking for answers and clues to who God and Christ are. You are praying 24/7 listening and seeking the truth. You are becoming more dependent on Christ for all things, big and small. Here’s the big one…you are serving Christ in your home, work, school, church, and community, daily. The Holy Spirit is alive and well in you because you invite him to lead your life every morning, to fuel your heart, and focus your mind on Christ.

When you accepted Christ as your savior you acknowledged your sins and asked for forgiveness. God washed you clean with the blood of Christ and welcomed you with his loving grace. What have you done since? When you fill a pond with water it looks fresh and clean at first. If you don’t continue to filter and move the water it becomes stale and stagnate. It fills with all kinds of contaminants. Start moving the water in your life; pray, study, serve, and seek. Stop standing!

Send in the Fog

Surrounded by fog today I was reminded of those moments when I feel covered in God’s love.  I am able to worship with a group of friends who are hungry for God.  I read the word and God speaks, softly but clearly, into my every need.  He fills me with his light and shines through me to others.  These are the times when God is out in plain view for all to see, usually because I have opened my heart to him and invited him into my life.  I am focused on God and it is effortless.

However, there are other times when as much as I long for his comfort and support that I find myself in a desert.  I feel alone, surrounded by nothing but dry dirt.  I long for just an ounce of water, but I don’t know where to look.  Actually, I do know where to look; I just don’t find myself going there.  I need to be searching his word for direction and hope, but I am lost in the pain, the loneliness, holding onto the anger and fear.  I hold onto the hopelessness because reaching out for God feels like to much work.  I am angry that he doesn’t reach out for me.  He knows that is what I want, why won’t He save me?

For many the trinity is a very hard concept to grasp.  The easiest explanation I have ever heard defined in it terms of water.  God is the ice at the core of it all.  He is the foundation that the world was built on.  Jesus is the water.  He flows around us and through us.  He provides the living waters that sustain us and bring us life.  His blood has washed our sins away allowing a relationship with God that is pure and holy.  The spirit is the steam, fog, or vapor that fills the air.  It is all around us, at times more visible then others.  It is the spirit that is hard to hold onto.  When we are dry it is hardly visible; when we are full of God it can be seen everywhere we go. 

When we are deep in despair and we find ourselves in dry land we are not alone.  God is just beneath the surface, but it will take a bit of effort to bring Him to the top.  We need a shovel or pick to break through the layers of dirt we are holding onto.  It will be worth it, trust me.  Pick up a bible and let the words guide you through the dirt to the core of all life. 

Sometimes it is fire that has left us dry and separated from God.  That fire comes from Satan.  He uses our sins to walk into our lives and muddy the waters, drying our souls and leaving us thirst and lost.  The fire may seem uncontrollable, but it is not.  Water will always put out the fire.  It will put up a fight, but in the end it will hiss like a snake and fade away. 

The Winds of Change

It’s been a while since I have written on this blog.  God has been preparing my heart for a new season of change and I haven’t understood which way the winds were blowing enough to be able to put thoughts into words.  I often find that God speaks in puzzle pieces and I need to focus on each piece and on what God is saying before I get another piece.  It takes a while before the full picture is revealed.

I had been praying into what God wanted me to do on the mission trip to South Carolina that I attended July 23-31.  He kept taking me back to a mission trip two years before.  It was a few weeks after our trip to Red Lake Minnesota and our youth leader was walking us through a meditation on the Prodigal Son.  On the third time through God stopped me and said “open your eyes and look around.”  When I did I saw the room filled with kids, some leaning against the wall, some on their back looking up, some laying down with their heads covered, others holding onto to another with tears running down their faces.  God said, “These are my children.  I would do anything for them.  That is what I want you to do.”  In that moment, for just a blink of an eye, I felt the most intense love I have ever felt.  God’s love for his children was so deep, and so strong that I thought I would explode.  I still fall apart every time I think about it.  As I prayed for this trip I kept hearing God say “expand your definition of children.” 

While I prayed into this idea of children, God started challenging my view of family as well.  This came even more into play at the death of my aunt.  I have focused on my immediate family for a while and had lost track of my extended family.  God allowed me to walk back into their lives and the memories of my childhood with them bridged the gap of decades.  For the past two years I have been focusing on the high school youth group.  God has given me his heart for them.  He doesn’t share details, but he lets me know when I need to start praying for one of them and when they need an extra hand, even when it all appears fine on the outside.

Jesus said that unless we all become like children we would not enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  This has been interpreted many ways.  Some feel this means we are to be “reborn,” to turn away from our ways of sin and become new in Christ.  For others it means letting go of our control and putting our lives, in full trust and faith, in the hands of Christ.  I believe it also means to accept our position in God’s family.  We are being called to look beyond the boundaries of our immediate family.  To see God as the founder of all life, the almighty power on Heaven and Earth and to see him in the flesh as Christ our brother, bride groom, our heir to the throne means we are all related as children of God.  My calling to reach out to the children of God is changing from just the youth to all adults and children around me.  I am being called out to mend bridges with those I have walked away from.  God is challenging me to see strangers, friends, and enemies as family --his family.  I am being lead to do whatever it takes, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me, to reach out and heal relationships.

The bible tells us he will never give us more than we can chew.  It appears my cud is increasing.  My family has often joked and called me Mary Poppins, “perfect in every way.”  Not so true.  But at the moment, I’m feeling like I’m holding on tight to the end of an umbrella and the winds have just taken a sudden change of directions.  Caught up in a storm, I’m about to land at the thresh hold of the dysfunctional family of man and God is saying “fix this.”  It’s a good thing he’s in charge because I wouldn’t know where to begin!

Ode to Aunt Marian

Everyone has a “fun” relative, Aunt Marian was mine. She was married to my grandmother’s brother, Russell. I always felt like I had three sets of grandparents. They had five children, the two youngest were still living at home when I started spending weekends with my cousin Lisa, the oldest child of Aunt Marian‘s oldest son. Their daughter, Angela, would come home from MSU on weekends and have girl time with us. When we were young Aunt Marian always had toys on the side porch room for us to play with. She always made sure you picked up after yourself before you left and she always checked to make sure it passed inspection. In the summer when it was hot and we started getting on her nerves she would send us all out to the swimming hole. It was a pond in the woods, back through a field, with a rope swing. I know how much this dates me, but I know you wish you had been there too. Perhaps this is where my love of water originated from.

Aunt Marian was a lady, with a bit of farm mom attitude. She would curl and put up our hair like we were princesses. She always had every color of nail polish possible, and she insisted we walk tall with our heads up. She made sure we apologized for belching while watching television with the whole family, even when she knew it was either Uncle Steve or Dan, just because ladies don’t do that. She was the lady in the country that pierced ears with an ice cube and needle before ear piercings were cool. She had us help Uncle Russell in the garden so that we could get rides on his lap on the tractor when we were done. She would also send us out to Dan’s fort in the woods even though she knew it had snakes living it in, because we needed the exercise before dinner.

The family picnics were always at her house and she always had the best stuff going on in the kitchen. It was a big kitchen, long before they were popular. Ten people could easily cook in her kitchen. You would walk in and she would immediately put you to work, thanks to many hands it was always done on time. It was a traditional farm family. The women were inside cooking and all the men were outside around the barbeque. After the meal, and a short rest, everyone would take a walk through the fields. Uncle Russell always mowed a path and all the couples would walk hand-in-hand with us kids running up ahead. She was a bold lady, she spoke the truth in a direct and matter-of-fact way. She gave you some rope to run, but she was never afraid of yanking your chain. Lisa and I would spend hours at night talking in bed at the top of the stairs, until she told us to be quiet. Then all we could do is look at each other and giggle into our pillows. We longed for the time we were old enough to partake in the family card games. It seemed like twenty people fit around that kitchen table and the card games went on forever. I think that is where my love of family games comes from. There were jokes, friendly lessons, and “suggested” rules of behavior that went on around that table once you were old enough to join and you always knew you were loved.

My Aunt Marian was also a lady of God and she knew kids well. Uncle Russell and Aunt Marian attended a little, white, country church. She would dress us up, do our hair, tell us to listen and be quiet. Then she would give us each a little purse filled with cinnamon red candies, enough to make it through the service, and pennies to put in the offering. After the service Aunt Marian taught Sunday School and we were part of her class. I don’t remember the specific lessons now, part I do remember there was always an art project that made me think church was really fun.

She loved her kids, my Uncle Russell and all of her grandchildren. She took care of them like a mother hen, but she always believed in having fun. I learned a lot about relationships from her and how to play. The times I spent with her have impacted everyday of my life. My Aunt Marian died yesterday at the age of 92. She will be missed by all and we are so blessed to have had in her our lives.

It’s Crystal Clear

Sometimes the simplest lessons are the most basic. It’s not the elaborate plots that cause us to stop and admire God’s work, it’s those short, momentary glimpses of Heaven that bring us to our knees. I was reminded of this just a short while ago when our pastor shared his life changing moment with God. For a couple months we had sat in awe of his sudden passion for life and Christ, his clear crystal understanding of his purpose and the openness of his shortcomings and doubts. He had invited the Holy Spirit into his life and he was as bright as an LED bulb. The scene had been set for the big unveiling of this life changing moment. In total humility, tears falling from his eyes, he stood there and said “God loves me.” For a moment I was shocked, I was expecting more. But then I watched how this depth of love had wiped out all his pride, removed any thoughts or desires to control his life, and I realized the power of those three simple words. This pure form of love has reformed sinners, brought down giants, and created kings out of murders.

We are all created with this longing to be loved. It is a love that only God can fill, but rarely do we open ourselves up to experience that love. We are always so sure we can handle thing on our own, we are just fine, I’m ok, I’ve got it… Until we humble ourselves to feel God’s love, we haven’t a clue what real love is. It’s not a mental or emotional love or even a spiritual love. It’s like a piece of us that has always been missing, it goes right to our hearts and reminds us that even though we don’t deserve to be loved, we are loved by God in a pure and unconditional manner. Because there are no secrets that love fills every inch of us. Until you experience it you don’t realize how life sustaining those three simple words can be, “he loves me.” Even when you have experienced it, it is so easy to let it slip through your fingers like water. I wish we could hold onto that moment without any effort, but it takes strength, convictions, and focus not to let it get away. I think in some ways its too big to hold.

Like water, love doesn’t have a color, an odor, or a taste, it can be solid one moment and evaporate the next. Yet without either life doesn’t exist. God loves us regardless of what we have done or not done, how we have loved, acted, or obeyed. This unconditional love, this grace, is like water freely given yet so hard to hold onto. Our independent nature, our culture, and our pride are slippery like water, clouding our judgment and telling us that our goals align with God. Before we even know what is happening we are on our own again, taking our own path, and traveling further away. How do we prevent this from happening, is there any hope? Of course there is, he’s called Christ. Go back to that moment you first experienced God’s love, humble yourself because you know you don’t deserve it, and hold onto that need. It’s that weakness that reminds us to constantly turn to God, to not rely on our own understanding, but in all things turn to God for answers.

Lord, I sell you short way too often. I only turn to you when everything else I have tried fails. I want you to be proud of me, so I try to come up with the answer on my own, but that’s not what you want. You want me to recognize and grasp my weakness, because only then will I need you. In all things, big and small, may I say “let’s pray about it.” Lord, may you control my every thought and move. May I grow dependent on you every step of the way. Lord, speak and I will obey. May I never lose track of your grace and might. Your blessings surround me, may I be constantly aware of your love. Lord, I am a sinner unworthy of your love, but you love me just the same and it moves me to my knees in prayer.

Focus in the Fog

Have you ever noticed that when you are going through spiritual, emotional, or physical storms it is very easy to get confused in the fog?  It’s like everything is fighting for your attention and you can’t seem to figure out which direction to go.  Even those with a strong navigation system can get turned around in the fog by other influences.  If you’re driving it’s best to pull over and wait for the fog to pass, but that’s not recommended when you are on a journey towards Christ.  My instinct lately has been to you stand still and wait for it to end, but God clearly called me to stop waiting and to focus on him and move.

What does this look like?  It’s hard to say, remember I’m in the fog.  Sorry, a little fog humor there.  But seriously, it means in order to get out of the fog you really need to just focus on Christ and nothing else.  Anything that is distracting you from moving out of the fog, give it to Jesus.  So, if you are in physical pain and all you can think about is how much it hurts and how tired you are, pray.  Tell Jesus the pain is making it hard to hear and see his plans for you.  Ask him to take on the pain himself so that you can better serve him.  Then move on.   Know that Christ will remove that pain and that you are not meant to sit around and moan.  Start living because that’s what you were created for!

If you are surrounded by emotional drama may your eyes be like lasers focused on Christ.  Let the entire he said/she said fall to the sides and be who God created you to be.  I was reminded of a statement I made a few years ago about work this past week.  I actually wrote in print and turned into my superiors “I work for God.”  Yes, I have bosses at work, but if my focus is doing what God created me to do then everything falls into place.  If I’m all concerned about the drama and trying to please my bosses and figure out what they want I lose track of who my real boss is and everything gets messy.  If I instead turn to God while I work and ask for his direction I am serving the Kingdom using the gifts he gave me.  When that happens the people I serve are blessed and God blesses me as well.  It’s a win-win situation.

Our spiritual journeys for the most part take place in the storms, no getting out of this one.  If you are stepping out in faith you can expect plenty of storms.  The difference is when you are focused on Christ there is a lighthouse in the distance and the beam is focused on you.  You can be surrounded by rocks, flames, and lightening yet your path will be clear and safe because Christ is taking all that on himself so that you can walk peacefully through with God.  This is the hardest one to do because it requires a huge amount of trust and faith, but it is so worth it.  This is really what it’s all about.  We are in a training program when we turn to God.  The trials start out small and get bigger and bigger, so that we may slowly increase our trust and faith.  No matter the size of your struggle, if you believe in God, start trusting that faith today!

I love the visual God showed me this morning when I was praying (yes, in the shower).  I saw this horse pulling a buggy through the fog.  The horse had the side blinders on, so he wouldn’t get spooked and frightened.  I believe that is how we are to maneuver through the fog, with blinders on to block out all the distractions.  We are to focus straight ahead on Christ so that one day we will reach our destination.  May you have a memorable ride!

Walking in the Steps

I grew up in an interdenominational church, one my great grandfather helped build in the early 1900s. I was baptized as an infant, I gave my life to God when I was 12 and went through confirmation when I was in the nineth grade. I’ve always been blessed by the immersion baptisms at church, but I have never felt led to do it myself. Imagine my surprise when during the early Easter service I heard God say “you need to do this.” I started praying into it and asking why. I didn’t really get an answer, just a gentle push. The first service ended and I wasn’t convinced. I was in the prayer room for the second service. Between prayers I would ask God repeatedly “are you sure?”

It was a blessing to pray over all those who had asked for prayers and I was again surprised when we finished early and it was suggested we join the service at the end. I planned to stand in the back, but found myself heading to the front from the far side. I pulled into a seat near the front shaking and still asking why. When it seemed the service was about to end I found myself taking off my shoes and walking toward the front. I was met by an elder who took my hand and started leading me to the tub. As I passed my son I asked him to join me, for some reason I knew he needed to be there too. As we headed to the platform I was still confused. I believe in God, I know he is my redeemer, I know I am a sinner and I chose not to live without God, why did I need to do this? I start every day in the shower praying to be cleansed from my sin and committing to walking in Christ’s footsteps. (Hence the name of this blog) What was it that God wanted me to learn? It’s taken a week to figure it out and I’m glad I obeyed.

Leading up to the days before and after the crucifixion the disciples were also confused. Jesus had promised them a new kingdom, greater than any that had ever been known. He had been teaching them a new way of thinking and living. He had done miracles no one had seen before. Shirley he was the one they were waiting for. Then it all started to fall apart. Judas betrayed Christ, Peter denied knowing him, Thomas doubted, even Jesus asked does it have to be this way? Christ was taken away, beaten, humiliated, striped of his flesh and blood, mocked, and forced to carry his own cross. What happened to the promise? Had they been mislead, lied to? Was it all over? Suddenly, they found themselves in the middle of a storm.

Well, it appears that’s the way it works. There are seasons to following Christ. The first comes when we turn to him and believe in the promise. We have to take that first step to obey and trust. The second is the storms that come from that promise. You see God doesn’t want wimps following him, it’s serious business (not to be confused with strength, it‘s just not a leap you can only do half way). Sometimes we promise to do things for God and it is Satan that comes after us; throwing everything he can come up with to stop us from being obedient to God. Other times we believe in God, but we waffle in our trust. God uses the daily storms in our lives to help us to learn how much he loves us and to grow our trust and faith in him. When we believe and trust in him, when we know all the way to our souls that he is in us and with us, and nothing will shake that faith, he completes his promise. We have to be ready to receive the promise and sometimes that takes time.  Sometimes we have to have faith that what we ask may not be what is best for us.  We have to believe that God knows what that is and will see us through.

I was stilling discussing it with God all the way up the stairs, but when I got up there I made a commitment to see it through, God wanted me to do this and I said yes. I hiked up my dress and stepped into the tub. God doesn’t leave us during the trials, he is always there and he send others to help us out and walk along side us. I had to trust in those taking me down and bringing back up as I free fell back into the water. It could be my weight, but as I hit the water I was reminded of God parting the Red Sea for the Israelites. He always provides a way to his promise, some more spectacular than others, but there is always a way.

When I finally hit the water and I was ready to come back up, but that’s not how it works either. We have to go all the way under. You can’t make it through a trial if you’re not ready to go all the way through. I wonder how many times we walk into a trial then flounder there longer then we need to because we aren’t willing to experience or do what we are suppose to. We need to face our fears and work through them before we can get to the other side. Finally, after going all the way under, I came back up thanks to the pastor and my son. I felt like I had taken a step in the right direction and my family and friends where there to support me. I had done what God called me to do, but I still needed to reflect to figure out what God wanted me to learn.

I’m in the middle of many storms right now. I've been hanging out in the middle of some of these storms, not willing to experience the trials of taking those necessary steps.  I have been questioning whether God was with me or not. I now know he is. He hasn’t left my side.  In the last couple weeks I have stepped out and committed to my faith and my priorities at home and at work.  I know now that soon the storms will pass and things will be fixed and it will all be to his glory. If you are in a trial right now and you have put your trust in God, believe in that trust. The trials are there to bring you character and strength; you will need to accept the promise.

God loves us through all seasons. The seasons, like our weather repeat themselves and form a patterns. Once is never enough; with each promise will come new trials, and at the end of each storm there will be a rainbow!

“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you. I’ve called your name. You’re mine. When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down. When you’re between a rock and a hard place, it won’t be a dead end — Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! That’s how much you mean to me! That’s how much I love you! I’d sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you.” Isaiah 43:1b-4 (The Message)

Humbled to Fast

As we come to the end of the Lenten fast, I hear a lot of folks rejoicing and looking forward to enjoying what they gave up.  Now, I’ve never been good at fasting, but I did experience a fast a few years ago, which happened to be during Lent that changed my life forever. 

I had a 35 year addiction to caffeine that started when I was in high school.  At first it was just Cokes, and then in college I added caffeine pills.  I felt pretty good about myself because all my study friends who started caffeine pills advanced to speed the next year and I didn’t.  I did have a few scares when I took more than I should have, usually during finals week.  When I became a new mom and I was trying to work 60-70 hours a week, keep my house clean, and play with our children every moment they were awake, caffeine pills were the only way I could survive.  I tried to cut back, especially as the damage grew, but all the non-malignant tumors, the stomach ulcers, and the heart murmur, not to mention the constant weight gain just didn’t stand up to my addiction. 

So when I was at work one day, typing on my computer, and I heard God say “it’s time to quit caffeine” I was a bit surprised.  I had tried many times before, but it was because I thought it was a good idea, now God was telling me I had to.  It was really hard.  It took a month and a half before the headaches stopped; I remember the day well.  What I learned about fasting is when you pick something that really matters, you will need to find a substitute.  I could have starting drinking more juice, ones high in sugar could have given me a similar energy boost, but what I choose was God.  When I got to work in the morning and I needed a Coke to wake up and start the day I prayed and drank my water.  When I sat down for lunch and my daily energy drink, I prayed instead and drank my water.  In the middle of the afternoon when I reached for a caffeine pill and my Coke to drink it down, instead I prayed and drank my water.  When I drove by McDonalds on my way home and saw their sign for a $1 large Coke, filled with ice, I prayed (with my eyes open).  I prayed for patience, strength, endurance, energy, faith, my brokenness, my need, my headache, and the list goes on.  As I realized I wouldn’t make it through without God’s help, I humbled myself and was blessed over and over again.  God also put a song on my heart, “I Will Rise” by Chris Tomlin.  Every time I needed caffeine I would hear this song and know I could make it through this.  God knew that I had to.

Two months after giving up caffeine I was diagnosed with diverticulitis with the strong possibility of colon cancer.  Not only was I able to bear the pain, because I no longer was using caffeine, but I had learned to put all of my faith in God.  He had been there through my fasting and if I could get through that I would be able to get through anything.  I also knew that He wanted me to go on the mission trip, so I knew it would all be ok in the end.  I was in incredible pain, I bled 24 hours a day for three weeks, yet I was able to go to work and function.  I should have bled to death, but instead I asked God to heal me, all of me, everything and I believed He could.  I knew the mighty power of God and to Him this was nothing.  A week before the mission trip I received an emergency colonoscopy.  The doctor found no signs of bleeding and no sign that I ever had diverticulitis.  He found a small pulp that looked like it had never bled. 

Our God can heal all wounds!  He is the almighty God who walks with us, leads us, holds us up when we are weak, and prepares us for what is coming.  Every time I look at my water bottle I am reminded of what we went through together, how He was there for me and helped me through.  If you are far from God and wanting to get closer, try fasting from something that you feel brings you life, so that you can learn to rely on the one who truly brings you life and life abundantly! 

The Rock in Troubled Waters

When Jesus called the disciples to follow him, they were called to leave their jobs, homes, wealth, and their families behind. We know from the bible that they just walked away. Seldom are we told of how they must have wept for the loss of their families and loved ones, yet deep inside they knew it was what they were called to do. Over the years I have been thankful that God does not call us to leave our families; most of the missionaries I know serve with their families. That said however, God’s request has not changed. Are you willing to leave all you know and follow me? Are you willing to put me first? Is your faith strong enough to trust me, to believe that I have you and your families best interest in mind?

A mother’s heart tends to be a servant heart, even the word mother is formed mainly by the word “other.” So it has been a struggle for the last seven years to but my faith in God and know that he alone will meet the needs of my family, if I have faith to follow and trust him. I have kept the depth of this faith a secret from my family. A week ago, terrified, I stepped out in faith and let my family know my priorities.

1) My spiritual health comes first. I will strive to develop my relationship with God first. That means I need time to read and learn his words, pray and connect to his spirit, and serve by listening and obeying where he leads me.

2) My family comes second. That means I will see to your physical needs, doing the laundry, shopping to make sure you have healthy foods, paying the bills so you have heat, water, and shelter. I will enforce a healthy lifestyle so that you get plenty of sleep and you are focused on your studies so that you can have a productive and rewarding future. This also means that I am focused on taking care of dad and our relationship. That means we need to have time together.

3) My physical health comes third. I am going to be eating healthier so you are stuck with less junk food. Dad and I will be going to the gym in the evenings after we eat, so you may have to help us get the dishes done so we can get there quicker.

4) My job comes fourth. I find it mentally rewarding and I feel it serves many purposes. Not only am I able to help other children and families it provides an income that allows us to live comfortably.

I made a mistake. God is still my number one priority, but I can’t separate who I am. By doing that I left the door wide open for Satan to walk in. I have been under attack all week from my family, friends, co-workers, as well as myself. My relationship with God has to be with all of me; it includes my spiritual well-being, my physical health, and my emotional stability. Satan used those around me to challenge my relationship with God. I’ve had a hard time this weekend questioning whether I really was willing to take on persecution or if I wanted to let go of God. This morning as our minister prayed about walking away from comfort into the uncomfortable I saw my mistake. By trying to face this trial on my own I was like a rock in the water being struck and worn down by the rapids. As I prayed and asked Christ to forgive me for my instability I saw that rock in the water grow. As I forgave those around me who put me through hell this week he lifted me up out of the water, away from the troubled waters.

So I amend my priorities. God still comes first, I come second, my family third and work fourth. It’s like the air bags that drop in airplanes at the drop in air pressure. If I don’t take care of myself first, I won’t be able to help those around me. By putting my family above myself I allowed them to challenge and shake my relationship with God. I chose to be strong in God for my sake as well as theirs.

Christ, thank you for being that sturdy rock in the middle of peaceful and troubled waters. When we rest in your arms we are lifted above the line of fire and find peace. Your word promises us peace even when life around us is bent on whipping us around and wearing us down. Lord, I chose to follow you, to give up my life for you. Direct me as you will. I know you will take care of me and my family and even as I follow you, you will bless them and make them whole. Thank you Lord! Amen.

Calm Waters in Sight

Nothing says peace like a still stream.  When the wind stops blowing and the waters are calm you can see through to the ground as well as your reflection on the surface.  Have you ever just sat at the side of a stream or on a bridge and looked down at the peaceful water?  Have you looked for pebbles on the bottom or rocks with unique patterns?  When the water is still you can see where it is safe to step.  Not only can you feel the ground, you can see your path and where you are to tread.  God is like that too.  He said “be still and know I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)  When you are still you can feel God all around you.  You can see the path you are to take and where you have come from, sometimes even how all the pieces fit together.  The firm rock that always holds us up is there, we just can’t see it through the chaos and the storms.  One of the things I love about peaceful waters is that not only can you see through them to God, but you can also see yourself on the surface.  The water acts like a mirror reflecting our image.  How closely does it match up with God?  Can I see peace on my face or wrinkles of fear and struggle?  God says be still (Mark 4:39).  Stop what you are doing and rest; let him refill those places that are empty.  Refresh your spirit with the life giving waters of God. 

There’s a pattern to water just like there is a pattern to our journeys.  If you think about a stream there are times in its path where the water is calm and peaceful.  There are also times when there are rapids and waterfalls before we find still waters again.  God gives us times of rest at the end of periods of struggle.  During that rest we reflect on what we have gone through and we grow.  We prepare ourselves for the next adventure, the next time God asks us to serve and we are prepared to say where and how.  The song on my heart today is an old hymn… “As the deer panted over the waters so my soul panted over you.  You alone are my heart’s desire and I long to worship you.”  Are you thirst for God, for a time of rest by the streams of his love?  Then come to the water and sit by God.  Be still and know that he is there!

Born in the Sign of Water

I’ve had this song stuck in my head now for about a week, actually just one line of that song. It’s from my childhood, a song by the Little River Band. It’s called Cool Change. The line I keep remembering says “I was born in the sign of water, it’s there that I feel my best, the albatross and whale they are my brothers.” I don’t remember much of the rest of the song, but this one line had meaning for me when I was younger and it still does today. While a strong Christian, I was born in the sixties and my “sign” is Pisces. Most of the time I could be thought of as a fish out of water. I long to be in the water. I spent hours as a child in the waters of Lake Michigan and the Gulf of Mexico in Florida. My parents say that they would have to pull me out of the water, blue, because I just didn’t want to leave it. I was a swim instructor and life guard all through high school and college. It’s how I put myself through college. I’ve done my best thinking in the water. In college I use to keep a kick board with a notepad and pen at the end of the lane and would write all the outlines for my papers while swimming. Over the years whenever I really needed time alone with God I went to the hot tube. Each morning I spend most of my shower time in prayer. I can’t tell you how many times I have forgotten to rinse my hair because I was so caught up in prayer. There is just a part of me deep inside that longs to be in the water. It is where I hear God the clearest.

This past week I had the pleasure of spending my 50^th birthday praying in the Gulf of Mexico. There is such a peaceful feeling when you are surrounded by water; knowing that you are loved by the Creator, maker of all this water. Riding the waves I felt lifted up by God, light as a feather (the salt water helped), and gently brought back down to reality. In the shower I feel a connection that I am at my most exposed self and able to just bow before God and his glory; to be used by him without any of the interruptions of life. Daily I feel blessed, washed clean, and baptized in the grace of God. I may not spend hours swimming anymore, but I love walking in the rain, singing in the storms, and splashing through puddles. Lord, you are my living water. The waters I long to embrace, to wrap around myself, to cozy up to, and to become one with. Lord, I live in you and you live through me. Without you I can not exist. You fill me up, keep me alive, and flow out of me to others. I thank you Lord for searching me out, connecting with me, and bringing me life. May your love flow out of me like a river so that others may be blessed as well. I pray this in your son’s name, Amen.

Cleansing Waters

I have a history of tears. It’s not always something I’m happy about, but it is a deep part of who I am. I first met God in those tears. Between my twelfth and thirteen birthdays I lost thirteen of my friends. It was in those tears of sorrow and pain that I reached out to God and asked why, and for the first time in my life I heard him reply. We made a connection during those moments and I have felt his heart ever since. I have cried cleansing tears that healed deep wounds, and I have prayed and cried with others as we sought their wounds and found healing. I tend to cry when I tell people my story, because I am just so moved that God would love me through all my mistakes and trials; that no matter how far I have wondered he is right there, waiting to catch me. During worship tears just flow from my eyes. I don’t have any control over them. Sometimes they are tears of regret at my own sin, but usually they are tears of joy that I feel from the overflowing love from my creator and friend. My tears come from my heart and from God’s heart. At times those tears are His tears of pain and loss.

I’ve been crying a lot of those this week. Yesterday I said good-bye to a sister in Christ that left this world way too early. We met through a friend. My friend has spent a lifetime running from the pain in her life. For twelve years she has ran to alcohol. We met four years ago and found companionship in those tears of pain. We have retraced her steps and cried through all the tragedies in her life. We discovered that in order to be able to handle the pain that just happens in life, she had to build up strength by facing the past. She needed to learn to face pain when it happens, so that she could change the patterns in her life and walk away from the alcohol. All of the tragedy hung over her like a cloud that would never go away. It controlled her every thought and action.

She met our new friend in jail; they were cell mates. They moved to the Gospel Mission when they got out and have been inseparable ever since. Our new friend was adventurous, fun, and always laughing; but she had never faced her addiction and she just couldn’t walk away. The tears God has cried have been tears of loss. The loss of possibility of what could have been different in our friend’s life. Her pain was so deeply buried that she couldn’t find it. She never faced it and it kept pulling her in. She had walked away from all of her friends and family. God wept at their loss; that they didn’t know her. He wept at their fear over wanting to know her, and the anger that had separated them from her.

It’s not fun to cry; your face gets all red, your nose fills up and runs, and sometimes you make these snorts and gasps, but God wants us to cry. When we shed tears we show our hearts, and that’s where we meet God. He comes along side us and helps us through the pain. He gives us a new perspective and shows us his grace and mercy. The Word tells us that God collects our tears. They represent our humility and weakness. It is in our weakness that we become strong; we become His.

Lord, I crumble at your feet. Life sometimes is so hard, and I don’t always make the right decisions. Thank you Lord for being there in those moments of humility when I come face to face with the errors of my ways. You use my tears to cleanse me; to wash away my sins and make me whole for your glory. Lord, help me to continue to embrace those moments I am not so proud of; to bring them to you. Lord, when life hits hard help me not to run, but to face those moments like David faced Goliath. You are always with me and I know you will help me through. May your strength empower me in those times of despair; may I rejoice in the storms of your tears for you are always with me. In your son’s name, Amen.
　

Thirsty - Chris Rice [Cover]

Day 3: IT IS YOU

Think about it… water is everywhere. It is in the atmosphere around us, on the ground we walk, in the food we eat, in the liquids we drink, in the plants we grow and the lakes and seas we swim. It completely surrounds us. Simply put, IT IS.

How fitting that we are surround by a creator who refers to himself as I AM. He alone is the beginning and the end. He is with us in the middle, always. It is hard to comprehend that no matter what we do, how seriously we sin, how far from His path we stray He will never leave our side. I have seen families, businesses, and churches torn apart from sin. I myself have wondered to the point of being lost, yet I am humbled to realize through it all God was present. He was there in the middle of the mess waiting, patiently waiting, on us to turn to Him for help.

Take a moment and think back to the last time you were lost. Close your eyes and open your ears to that time of struggle. Ask God to show Himself to you. Look carefully. Where was He in that situation? Listen for the ones He sent your way to help you. No matter how far away you walked, He followed. No matter what, He will never, I said NEVER, leave your side. He IS all you need. Like the life sustaining water, He will fill every need and bring you life abundantly.

Lord, I am blessed by your love, that you thrive to follow this sinner to the ends of the earth. That you love me beyond reason, even when I run from you. You are more than I can comprehend or know. I thank you for loving me, for surrounding me like warm water on a cold day. Lord you cover me with your blessings. You are the ground, the rock I stand on. You fill me to overflowing with your love and grace. Lord I praise you during storms and gentle showers for you bring me life. IT IS YOU that I long for.  In your son’s name. Amen.

Day 2 Thirst

Imagine, you are a twelve year old girl living in Zambia. You could be going to school each day, but instead you walk 4-6 miles to gather water for your family. It is a long walk in the hot sun, alone and the weight of the water strains your arms and legs. When you get back you share the water with your family only to get sick from the parasites in the water. So I have to ask, why do you think this happens daily in Zambia? It is because the body thirsts for water. It is made of 80% water. You can live for weeks without food, but you can only go a couple days without water. For this reason families drink dirty, germ infested water. We were created to thirst. The more water we drink the healthier we are. Science has shown that water has a positive affect on almost every organ in the body.

God created man to thirst not only for physical water but also for living water. Jesus came to prepare and provide a means for us to receive the Holy Spirit. Within each one of us is a void that nothing here on earth will ever be able to fill. Man tries to fill this void with money, love, power, pride, drugs, alcohol, and many other things, but nothing ever comes close to meeting our thirst for God.

As you go about your day today make note of what it is that you try to fill the void with. It is your family, your grades, your athletic abilities, your friendships, your relationships, your job, and income, or the material things you own? Ask yourself if they really make you happy. Do you have peace or are you always wanting more? Are you ready to accept the Holy Spirit into your life? Are you ready to fill the void for the first and last time? Then talk to God.

Father, I thirst for you. There is a hollow place in my soul that longs to be filled by you. So come Holy Spirit come and fill me so that I may be whole. Lord, forgive me for my foolishness and pride that I could do what only you are able. Lord, without you I am lost and empty. Today, by your Spirit I am complete. Lead me in your ways Lord. May your Holy Spirit burn in me and change me from the inside out. Lord, your grace and mercy brings me life on this earth and for eternity. I thank you Lord, that your love sets me free and gives me purpose. I praise you alone Lord, in your son’s name. Amen.

Day 1 Listening

Welcome to my very first blog! To me life is all about stories. Some stories have happy endings and some do not. Others tell of mysteries or discoveries while some are like puzzles waiting to be solved. Throughout my life I’ve had this thing for water. I could tell you tons of stories from my past all centered around water, and that may happen. This blog however is more of an exploration of water with a purpose. I want to share with you what I learned about the water crises in Africa. So please, open your heart to the adventure we are about to encounter together. Open your mind to the connections that tie all of our stories together. Be willing to experiment, and discover life in a new way. My hope is that you will learn more about yourself, this incredible world we live in, and what purpose God has specifically for you!

This past weekend I participated in my Youth Group Retreat. Some may say I’m one of the leaders, but I feel more like a participant. I have found that I learn from the group more than I share. Jesus called us to become like children so that we too may enter His Kingdom. So I ask you to break down the walls that guard and protect your soul from the world. Open yourself up for child-like exploration and discovery. Let the Holy Spirit move in you and prepare to be changed.

We were asked to think about our talents and gifts. What were we each specifically designed to do and how could we put these talents to use? I came up with three things. First, I love listening. I listen for God, for direction and meaning. I like to listen to others to learn their stories. One of my top three spiritual gifts is creative communications. When I was younger it was through dance. As I got older I wrote poetry and sang. I have tried graphic and exhibit design and fiber arts. I believe this blog is a new way to creatively communicate what God wishes for me to share. I also love hands-on exploration. So this blog will have three parts. I will explore what God is showing me as it relates to water and faith. I will then include a hands-on component that will allow you to physically participate in this process. I will end in prayer so that together we may grow in our spiritual journey.

For Day One, I want you to listen. Listen for the different sounds of water. Hear water as it slowly drips from a facet. Turn the water up and hear it pour out and bounce off the bottom of the sink. As the water fills the sink, listen as it splashes and drops back into the water. Listen for the rain, the slow drops that gently tap against the window, or the hard knocks of hail that pound against the glass. Walk through snow when the temperatures are low and hear the crack as it gives way to the weight of your body. Fill a glass with ice and hear it hit hard against the bottom. Add water and listen to it shatter. Can you hear snow that is light and powdery? What about the hot sizzle of steam as it boils and bubbles? Take a walk in the woods and listen for gentle streams where the water runs through the earth, over rocks and mud. Image the Creator of this earth playing with water. What joy He must have when He sees us discovering one of his many creations. Image God speaking to us in the many different languages of water. What would he say to you?

Dear Lord, we long to hear you. Speak to us in gentle tones, let us know you are near. Lord, we are often tossed and turned against rocks and walls, battered by life. Come and surround us with your soothing comfort. When you call us to action speak in clear crisp sounds that we will recognize over the daily roar of life. Lord, may the Holy Spirit rise in us like accumulating water. May it spread to ever finger and toe so that we may act as your hands and feet in this world. Lord, we are listening and we are ready to engage and obey. Through your son’s name, the one who brought us living water that we pray. Amen.